freelancing

Early Morning

I looked around. The time was already half past 12. I could see around and look at my father and brother deeply engrossed in sleep. Taking my mobile out, I saw whether to play any game online. But, I was least interested. Kept my mobile in agony, I went ahead to sip water.

‘Haven’t you slept yet?’ my mother asked me suddenly from nowhere. I was shocked to look at her and she didn’t have any sleep till now and just saw me roaming in the living room.

‘Mom! Why are you waking up still?’ I asked her again. She looked at me right up.

‘It’s already 12.30. You should go and sleep now!’

‘Yeah fine am going, just came to pee’

I looked at her back again to ensure, that she had slept. May be to see, yes she has, but I know she won’t sleep until I move to the bedroom. I don’t want her to wake up all night to look at whether I had slept or not. So I paced myself to reach the room and covered myself under the bedsheet. Slowly my eyes started to doze, and soon I was in my dreamland.

I was careful to keep my alarm at 6 am. But I was very well knowing that it is a herculean task to get up at that time. Yet, I believed in the corner of my heart that this miracle will happen. With these random thoughts, running on my mind, I couldn’t be in my dreamland for more than an hour. I turned around, the time was 1.30 AM. I cursed myself that I became insomniac.

At that time, I just wanted to get rid of all the things that were running in my mind and to get some sleep. I was very well aware that I have some important appointments the next day and have a few meetings to attend. I closely started to think about the beautiful days that I had in my life and started to cherish the moments. Suddenly, I felt very apprehended that I missed those beautiful days in my life. What I thought to make it a good approach to fall asleep, soon made it to crushing thoughts that made me miss my days. I ruled out that option.

Moving on to the next thing, on how and where I need to present myself better, I wanted to make note of important points in the meeting and conference that is going to be attended by 30 odd people. I felt nervous, and I was sweating. The important documents which I wanted to present tomorrow are still unfinished. Remembrance is very rare to me, I keep forgetting things and postponing without any timelines. I checked my mobile. It was 2 AM.

‘Anyway, I wasn’t getting any sleep, why can’t I sit down and make the presentations out?’ I thought to myself. But I was afraid of my mother, whether she would come from nowhere and screw me up. But it’s better to finish off the things which have been started rather than making it worse. One thing was very sure to me, I was going to get some heavy blisters, as I wasn’t prepared for anything that is going to happen on that day.

I took my laptop out, and slowly muting the sounds and dimming the light, I sat on the corner of the room to start my analysis and presentation. I looked at my family, they were all in some dreamland or on some others dream and happily sleeping. Well, it’s a boon to get sleep when you readily go to bed. Yet, I haven’t blessed with that.

I’m a freelancer. Freelancing comes at a much higher price to devote yourself entirely to the ongoing project or to get projects from clients. But people see them like they are in some free world getting paid a lot while doing less work. Well, the grass is always greener on the other side. Freelancing was my earnest dream. This thought occurred to me when I was working hardcore on my company doing the project in application development. While getting peanuts, not getting the recognition, I wanted to quit and make time and money to be owned by me. Easier said than done.

Disposition of my regular career was a tough task. I had bills to pay and had commitments that rarely allow an individual to pursue his dreams. To dream of becoming my boss with no subordinates or supervisor. I know I had my strengths and weakness and made a good analysis to fix those and jump into this. The hard part of the job is, sometime you won’t get a single client for months and still you have to be economically stable to meet your basic ends.

While I started to prepare the presentation, I had no idea how to start, as I was invited as a guest speaker in my college. It was an alumni meet and my college dean has requested me to throw a guest lecture on my career and growth of a top paid freelancer at that time. It is indeed a privilege, but most people don’t see the other side of it. It took almost 5 years to get high paying clients for my services and make them my regular clients. When you become a freelancer, you are almost everything.

I finished drafting my presentation to be given on the meet and saw the time, it was close to 4 AM. So my whole night is been ruined. But, anyway, I was able to finish the task in an untimely manner. Switching off my laptop and getting some sleep for a confident speech, I again went to sleep trying to make it possible somehow.

The alarm rang up exactly at 6 AM, to wake up for the day. With my drowsy eyes, I looked at my mobile cursing with all the foul words coming to my mind.

‘Good Morning Rakesh,’ my father saw me waking up from the bed. ‘Haven’t you got up early?’ he asked.

‘If at all I have slept!’

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