Well, it has been several months since my fingers touched the keyboard. My poor laptop would have longed for my touch after all these months of sitting in the dark and getting covered in dust.
In order to write, I should have an idea in my mind to convey. But this time, the situation is different. I have absolutely no idea of what to convey; yet I will try to do justice.
The novel which I was writing for more than a year (august 2017 marks two years) bears fruitless gains due to the distraction towards career advancement. Choosing writing as a passion and trying to make a career out of it is not an easy task. When your first novel fails your expectations, when your job doesn’t earn you satisfaction, when your health is not good and most importantly when you don’t receive support from your colleagues and relatives, you become frustrated and fatigued. People value you for your money. That was rightly said years ago by some saint. Unless you are famous or wealthy, you are practically invisible and your voice goes unheard. You do not ‘Live’ on this Earth. You just ‘Exist’. Walking, sleeping, eating doing nothing else but follow the robotic motions of a mundane life.
In this course of time, I had forgotten my writing. My last blog post was 6 months ago. For the last two years after my novel has been published, I faced a traumatic series of failures and unfortunate events that dragged me from my writing. Once your peace of mind is lost, the creativity within you diminishes. That is what had happened to me. Having a body ridden with sickness, doing some routine job and struggling to make an impact with your writing which you thought would earn your bread, has lead me to the path of darkness. I was certainly lost and my journey towards my life and career was looking bleak.
At the beginning of last year, I was losing concentration towards my goal and simply couldn’t resist looking out for career opportunities towards financial stability thus enabling me to get settled in life.
Passion stays with you, not with your surroundings. We must be ready to earn bread so that we can prepare ourselves to enjoy the wine. Instead, I chose to have wine quickly and was struggling to earn the bread. Eternally, the truth stays positive. I was solely responsible for the decision I had taken regardless of the influence of others on me. Plain and simple, it was me, who had to take the choice of earning enough bread to fill my stomach rather than searching for the pleasures of wine.
Now, here I stand fully determined, focused and with enough confidence and energy to chase the bread for my stomach and leave out the rest to enjoy my wine, so that I can fill my stomach of lasting desires.